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Quotes

Preludes

Unknown: "I have a dodecahedron! Nooooooooooo!"

Arc 1 – Stolen Gold

Anthony: "In case of a water landing, your slaves may be used as flotation devices."

Anthony: "Oh, he's another urine merchant!"

Anthony: "These are my servants, Dominatrix and Genitalia."

Anthony: "I'm a Greek!"
Dan: "So you're used to shoving things in your mouth"

Rob: "You know what I like? Butter!"

Ari: "Does the council seek gold or do they seek someone to blame for the crime?"

Aniketos: "I don't have boosums."

Dan: "The dreaded rain barrel of darkness."

Idir [on belated warnings]: "If we die at her hands, we will attempt to scream as loud as possible."

Arc 2 -- Legati

Falco: "You too good for us now 'Superbus'?"

Marcus: "Taking lashes for Silvanus is my job."

Marcus: "Can I bang your ghoul please?"

Actaia [having a vision about... someone]: "A serpent, gold and glittering / A hawk, soaring high / A rabbit, fleet of foot

The hawk dives / The serpent strikes / Where will the rabbit find safety?

In the claws of the hawk? / In the fangs of the serpent? / Or with those who hunt the hunters?"

Marcus: "Well, I'm glad you find it convenient to talk to me again."

Quintus: "What do you know of Nika?"
Idir: "She is an evil and hateful bitch"

Actaia: "The hound, who knows what the hound would do..."

Marcus: "That was the formal wear of Crete about a thousand years ago; just something I thought you might find interesting."

Idir [on speaking with the Legati]: – "That did not go as poorly as it could have."

Idir: "Ariarathes, all that you value is not lost, seek me out, Idir."

Richard: "Mikalos was thrown out, Nissa is going to loose her seat, and it's going to be all the evil vampires in the city sitting behind a table looking at us."

Robert: "I think she just killed Drem with her mind and said what ever she wanted to."

Anthony: “Chrstianity is just like Judaism, but you get to eat bacon. Lots and lots of bacon.”

Anthony: “Aniketos is... a god among men.”

Aniketos: “It seems we are going to see the Legati.”
Idir: “Why?”
Actaia: “It seems we must go nightly.”

Marcus: “If you wish to hear what happened with the Legati, I see no reason not to say that in the presence of the Legati.”

Jessica: "If I wanted the booty dance, I'd ask for the booty dance.”
Isaac: "But you never do!”
Michael: “There are many ways to appease the storyteller.”
Dan: “But the booty dance is not one of them!”
Anthony: “This is a game of personal horror.”
Isaac: “My booty dance is not horror!.”

Aniketos: “Athena, I will sacrafice an unblemished cow to you if you should carry my father back to me as Odysseus was carried to Telemachus from Troy.”

Arc 3 – Festival of Jupiter

Richard: “What kind of monster are you?”
Joe: “The kind of monster that has a big basement.”

Jess: “That's why I game – how else would I find a harem?”
Dan: “Actually, we prefer to be called the 'he-rem'.”

Jess: “Well, no point in letting a perfectly good empire go to waste!”

Idir: “She has a list of enemies almost as long as her hair.”

Dan: “It only took thirty-six minutes today for Isaac to make his first oblique reference to homosexuality.”

Chris: “Are you suggesting Jesus doesn't have a Humanity of 10?”
Ike: “Before or after I Embrace him?”

Anthony: “Do I see any crazy half-naked chicks with horns on their heads waving their arms and shouting that they can see the future? 'Cause that's what I think Malkavians look like.”

Chris: “Miss Hairy-pants isn't there.”
Dan: “I dare you to call her that to her face!”
Isaac: “I prefer Tarassie-poo myself.”

Actaia: “I think we've had quite enough sensitive conversations in front of this particular building.”

Aniketos: “I think it's hilarious that we adjourned from the empty room to the street to have that conversation.”

Remius: “The Gangrel have a position in my vision for the future of Rome.”
Marcus: “I'm sure the Gangrel and Rome are both very grateful.”

Aniketos: “The Gangrel can be quite ... convincing.”

Isaac: “Marcus had a great effect on conversations between people who were completely ignoring him.”

Rob: “You wouldn't like me when I'm caffeinated.”

Actaia: “If this is how you gain trust, I suggest you try another method.”

Isaac: “I can't say I've ever gotten an erection during a footrace.”

Anthony: “The next time I get an erection I'm going to run around my house, and I have to thank all of you for making me have to do it.”

Dan: “Somebody could chop off both my arms and both my legs – and I'd be like, hey, they'll grow back, but he's still a shmuck.”

Appia: “Fight well. Do not shame Rome.”
Quintus: “I will do my best.”
Appia: “That is not the same thing.”

Marcus: “But Quintus has little experience with a sword – every time he kills it is someone chained at his feet.”

Anthony: “Well, I can't remember the last time I peed in my pants in public.”

Anthony: “There'll be five or six emperors running around, each with a different dormitory.”
Dan: “Um ... don't you mean domitor?”
Anthony: [long pause] “Maybe?”

Anthony to Ike: “I want to be a pawn in the plans of someone far lesser than me. Can you help?”

Jessica (on having long hair infront of your face) “Ok... you are doing the Final Fantasy villain look”

Quintus: “I am not a ... kind god, Falco.”

Jessica (about her diet sprite) “You know, it looks fine, but I know its been through my nose.”

Actaia “My vision tells me it is not yet my time to die.”

Berit “Neither Marcus nor Drugi are my generals.”

Dan -- “Did you and Strom Thurman get it on?”
Jessica -- “I have some stories about that.”

Aneketos -- “I have lived a generation in the service of Athena and it has brought me no wisdom.”

Richard: “Oh, don't worry, I can make more enemies.”

Dan: “Actaia's role in the game is to give Marcus the advice he needs at the moment he can't really hear it.”

Actaia: “Aniketos, if you wished to remain anonymous, you perhaps should not have spoken to us in front of the entire Kindred population of Arelate.”

Aniketos: “You may want to run.”
Quintus: “I never run.”

Aniketos: “I am a pretty Greek mouse and she is a mighty Roman cat.”
Quintus: “Yes, she is a mighty feline.”
Actaia: “And if she heard you saying that, she would tear off your heads.”

Actaia: “Well, I did give him the blessing of the gods before the battle.”
Marcus: “I didn't know you had such power.”
Actaia: “Neither did I.”

Rob: “... like God himself reached down and said 'gay'.”

Jessica: “The whole mentor system is designed so that when your ass is on fire your mentor has the fire extinguisher.”

Quintus: “Actaia seems to belive that I betrayed her.”
Marcus: “Well.... you did.”

Dan: “So what's the etiquette when you've been accused of murder and you're staying in someone's house?”

Marcus: “Are you in some sort of financial difficulty, this house seems less than it was.”
Quintus: “Well, I had to kill all of the servants.”
Marcus: “You killed all of the servants?”

Quintus: “You are aware that you were fleeing from justice at the time when I aprehended you.”
Marcus: “I wasn't fleeing justice, I was jumping from rooftop to rooftop.”
Quintus: “And do you often run on the rooftops of the city?”

Anthony: “I find when I ask Marcus a question he looks up and starts to spout generalities.”
Isaac: “But that's not lying!”
Anthony: “No, it's even more useless.”

Arc 4 – The Plauge

Idir -- “My greatest works must be kept secret.”

Melita -- “There are a great many sheep in this city. But fortunately I like mutton.”

Melita -- “Or perhaps not a dog, perhaps a wolf.”
Marcus -- “Grrrr.”

Miren (as a little girl)-- “Uncle Remius, does that mean I'm going to grow up to be a drunken cheating bastard like my father?”

Richard -- “Nothing is older than Hanno save the sun.”

Jessica [Dramatically] -- “Naravas never looks back.”
Richard -- “That's what the bumper sticker on his horse says.”

Richard -- “There are statues of Dionysis that can disapear all over the empire and end up in Massilia.”

Aneketos -- “I'm going to throw an even bigger party, in both cities at the same time, with twice the guests.”

Anthony [on seeing Urian's manor house] -- “I must have resources 7.”

Aneketos -- “We can discuss future strategy later, at the moment I must convince our host to love me.”

Georgix [on northern winters] -- “There are some who say that there is a great wolf who eats the sun every winter and spits it out every summer.”
Actaia -- “That must be a very big wolf.”
Quintus -- “Appollo must have a very big charriot.”
Aneketos -- “Personally, I think its a giant ball of gas. Ha ha ha ha ha.”

Richard -- “Its always Malaria season.”

Idir [at the temple of Apollo] -- “Do you not speak to each other as you lie here?”
Sick Man -- “Its bad luck.”
Idir -- “Is your luck not bad enough?”

Aneketos [on the reasons for the plauge] -- “Perhaps our Magistrates copulate with their relatives.”

Aneketos -- “Jupiter was Zues a fine long time ago.”
Marcus -- “I don't quite see it that way.”
Idir -- “I'm sure you don't Marcus”

Idir -- “The fridigarium does not put a man at his best state.”

Aneketos -- “My boys are not just sources for gold and recepticles for my Greek man splooge.”

Aneketos -- “Thankfully this is my spare house.”

Aneketos -- “All I know about Sparta is that the women there are manly and there is a lack of interior decorating.”

Quintus -- “Wasn't Callia a murderess?”
Aneketos -- “'Was'? She *is* a murderess.”

Rob -- “Gehenna! Its Gehenna people! Wave your arms and scream!”

Anthony [about his character's stupid actions] -- “This feels like it could be comedy”
Rob and Chris [singing] -- “Tragedy tomorrow, comedy tonight!”

Quintus, having a doctor beaten up: “See that he'll require a real doctor in the morning.”

Aneketos -- “I do not want to see these men killed under my roof.”
Quintus -- “I can take them outback if you like.”

Nissa -- “I just recived word from Saphronia, thanking me for my assistance to her tonight. I assume I assisted her tonight.”

Anthony -- “I'm in a room with two smiling Assimites, and somehow its not a bad thing.”
Richard -- “There is only one way to celebrate such things, someone must die.”

Callia [to her “master”] -- “What am I supposed to do about *this*?”
Quintus [to her master] -- “Something needs to be done about her.”

Jessica [on Cratos] -- “He's crazy and its your fault!”

Jessica [on Idir's humanity loss] -- “He killed five people, including a baby!”
Anthony -- “But lets remember the important part, now he's full.”

Dan -- “Actaia has no hair on her chest.”
Richard -- “On her back then?”

Anthony -- “I love when we make more roles to write letters than we do to attack people.”

Jessica -- “Saphronia never hunts.”
Richard - “She orders in.”

Dan -- “Quintus is trying to get us to do something dangerous.”
Richard -- “And stupid.”

Anthony -- “The Lasombra is patting me on the back, I know I've done good.”

Idir [to the ghoul doctor experimenting on him] -- “You are aware that there is a differnce between different types of vampires.”
Callia -- “Well, I will have to get one of each then.”
Idir -- “Good luck with that.”

Anassa -- “Do you belive that we are the children of the gods?”
Remius [laughs]
Anassa -- “I do, because the gods are petty and foolish as are we.”

Anthony -- “I will tell Nissa where Heraclitus has been all these years.”
Jessica -- “And where has Heraclitus been all these years?”
Anthony [snores]

Arc 5 – The Death of Tarasa

Richard [on ordering his more unusual ghouls around] -- “Christ! Get him.”

Richard: “It just seems blasphemous to sell Assamite-brand ice!”

Richard: “I've never met a Gangrel who wasn't sired by Tarasa, so I'm just assuming she founded the clan.”

Anthony: “This coming from Quintus, I trust him.”
Rob: [laughs]

Kratos: (over Actaia's unconscious form): Stay away from her!
Aniketos: Oh, relax.

Quintus: Marcus has some delightful guests; we can enjoy an early dinner.

Dan: What's the point of having visions if you share them with everyone?

Isaac: “When I said last week that I had a plan and I was being cagy about it, I actually didn't really have a plan. I just figured I'd come up with one this week.”

Isaac: The Praetorian guard is easily purchasable.
Dan: In fact, don't they have a web site?
Chris: Yeah, they're on eBay.

Idir: I would be happy not to see any more of your family in this region.
Remius: I really agree.

Idir: There are few spies who could exceed Actaia's gifts, and such a spy would not be well placed outside your house, Quintus.

(Actaia): I believe we've just heard word from the beyond that waiting for Bellataca will not be a problem.
(Marcus): Your powers never cease to amaze me.

Aniketos: I want to thank you all for your continued trust, and of course, for the occasional veiled insult.

Anthony: Greek eye for the Roman guy.

Quintus: Remius, at first I thought you the sort of person who acted in his own self interest, but I have come to find that you in fact have principles. I am somewhat disappointed.

Aniketos: Were you not so stiff, we might make good friends.
Peridex: I thought that you liked them stiff.

Quintus: And Denys, how is your miserable little life going?

Jess (regarding Perdix): You want to make the really uptight, highly religious Brujah frenzy, ask him to make a sacrifice to the Divine Julius.

Chris -- “We should take over a small third world nation!”
Anthony -- “Ooooo, I can see myself in epaulets and a riding crop. 'We have ways of making you talk'”
Joe -- “Do you have the quotes file open yet?”

Dan [on starting a third world dictatorship] - “All you have to do is steal philosophies from other intelectuals and feed the pesants low proten gruel”

Rob -- “I want Actaia's last words to be 'I really didn't see that comming'”

Quintus (to Remius, re: Philosa): You don't seem so eager to greet your Death riding in on her pale horse.

Isaac: I'm climbing down inside the chimney.
Anthony: Oh, you have to slaughter children when you get down there.
Rob: And bring them presents.

Actaia: Do you ever get the sense that supernatural forces are trying to destroy you?
Aniketos: I can't say that I have.

Actaia: Tantalos knows that it is the three of you that have done this, and you will pay.
Afsana: My price has been paid. ::plunges two stakes at Actaia's chest::

Anthony: Philosa is aware of what's going on with her vagina of night.

Joe: Did her eyeball just pop?
Dan: I take this as a sign it's working.

Anthony: How much strength might one need to throw a horse?

Remius: Your word was that you would destroy Turasa?
Afsana: Are you stupid? Yes.

Aniketos (to Marcus): Let every day you have spent under my roof be payment for this. I will be treated as a slave no longer, freeman!

Rob [on the session he didn't play his character in] -- “I should get the extra experience award because Quintus did the most incharcter thing during the battle, he wasn't there.”

Chris -- “Horses are not designed to be thrown.”

Anthony -- “I've always wondered what a diletant was, then I realized I was one.”

Isaac -- “Time and space are my mortal enemies!”

Anthony: Let's see. I'm not planning to betray you in this conversation, so yes, you can be here.

Quintus: In recent nights, I have often wondered whether it is better to be torn apart by beasts, or dragged into the depths by shadows.
Actaia: Torn apart by beasts.

Remius [to the Praetor] -- “I have comitted no crimes... this time.”

Marcus: All roads lead to Rome.
Aniketos: [snaps] Someone write that down!

Aniketos (of Actaia living in his house): Men must think she is my mad wife!

Hrotheow (of Quintus): But he is so very, very small.

Aniketos: You have no idea how much oil I have in this house.
Marcus: I don't want to hear about how gentle you are with your boys, I think I've made that clear.

Marcus: I have spent so long with one foot in Rome and one foot in Tarassa . . . [burst of laughter]

Arc 6 – When in Rome

Anthony -- “Roleplaying is all about wish fulfillment! I did not just say that.”

Jessica -- “It is said that all roads lead to Rome... but perhaps none lead away from it.”

Soldier -- Every man's a Greek when you've been at Sea long enough.

Quintus: They say if you put enough wine in a man, he becomes a Greek. Perhaps if you put enough wine into a Greek, he might become a respectable man.

Rob: I am so not living in the Gloria Mundi Real World with Marcus.

Anthony (to Rob, next session): Just to be clear, you DO want to live in the Gloria Mundi Real World with Marcus.

Idir (to Actaia): The front room is yours. Do what you must with the tub.

Anthony (discussing Real World: Gloria Mundi): Aniketos! You keep leaving your boys laying around, and you don't even clean them when you're done with them!

Anthony: Let us all sleep in this underground chamber in a row of wooden boxes, something about it seems so right.

Hrotheow: Her offices are in the Circus Maximus? How festive.

Actaia: If my skills at making people forget us are needed, I will gladly use them.
Hrotheow: I may be in need of that. I have been told I am... obvious.

Anthony/Aniketos: Best thing about a five year old boy, you turn him around, he's a five year old girl.

Anthony: The eight year old rectum really doesn't have much holding capacity.

Rob: However, roleplaying in the nude . . . I'm just putting it out there.
Dan: I would like to say, I won't be involved in either the naked roleplaying or the boy fucking... You may not be naked ON my couch. If you lay down a plastic sheet first, we can talk.

Jess: Publius actually has his tongue down Miren's throat.
Joe (to Rob): Get your son off my daughter!

Actaia (of Puella): If she claims to have these gifts, she is lying. She is likely mad.

Rob -- “I feel like we are in a reasonably good position despite the fact that our house is on fire.”

Actaia -- “Keep me wet all day Rodas.”

Aniketos: Now we've got crazy in stereo.

Rob: My slaves have togas? I light them on fire and spread them across the door..
Chris: Oh, not with the slaves still inside them.
Rob: Right.
Chris: Your slaves are now shirtless and sexy.

Chris: “Publius is being attacked quite heavily by a guy in gold chains.”

Anthony: “Aniketos thinks, Death is better than being your childe.”

Anthony: “Publius shows his sire's propensity for taking damage.”

Anthony: “Oh. You're in the Humanity Five Derangement Club.”

Marcus: It is not the way of the Gangrel to destroy the bodies of the unconscious.
Idir: Then I will not ask the Gangrel to do this; it is not against the way of the Assamites.

Marcus: “I suspect that the house Idir owns has depreciated in value since it burned down.”

Arc7 – Glory and Honor

Anthony -- “My two new years resolutions last year were cutting down on smoking pot.... and amusingly enough I don't remember the second one.”

Quintus: “Perhaps you could accept a small gift and pass it along to Lucrecia Valeria.”
Guard: “We do not accept bribes.”
Quintus: “Ah. A shame.”

Isaac: “I think we should build a giant robot Jesus and let him run the country.”

Aniketos (of his boys): I want them running, jumping, wrestling . . . I want them sweaty when I wake up in the evening.

Aniketos (to the mason): And you are here to think outside the box.

Aneketos: “The fads are going to be victums of me old man, you are excused.”

Aneketos: “Quintus has been out of the house a great deal, its probably not safe to assume that he hasn't seen his sire.”
Hrotheow: “Who knows what stupid learks in the hearts of men?”
Aneketos: “The Ventrue know.”

Idir: “The House of Aurelius is just as responsible for our safety as the House of Haravas. Simply because they are less competent does not mean they are less responsible.”

Hrotheow: “Publius is both competent and expendable.”
Marcus: “I am not convinced he is competent.”

Unknown: It would be easy enough to make a symbol that is two boxes and two roofs?
Unknown: It looks like an 'M'.
Isaac: “M is for Marcus!”
Dan: “M is for Malkavian!”
Rob: “No – M is for megalomania!”

Aniketos: “I'm sure we'll learn about all these powerful creatures just before they destroy each other. That seems to be how it works.”

Idir: “While they're all out doing neonate things, I have letters to write.”

Nissa: They believe that those not of the Ventrue blood are inferior.
Aniketos: This differentiates them from all other Ventrue how, precisely?

Nissa: There is the Family of Julia Perfidia, Julia the Treacherous. The family of your friend Marcus Aurelius Silvanus.
Actaia: Unsurprising that Quintus would come from treachery.

Nissa: It is not protection, only a guarantee of retaliation. Which, against the weak, is protection.

Anthony: “We will have a feast. Meats! And cheeses!”
Abby: “Served on the bellies of small boys!”
Anthony: “And when you're done, you can blow on their bellies and they'll giggle and squirm!”

Rob: We know an antediluvian, Tarasa's an antediluvian.
Chris: Well, was.
Isaac: Fuck you all.
Rob: Now she's, what, soil?

Richard “Well, really I just run a temp agency for vampires.”

Joe -- “Hrotheow just wants to get into a fight right now. He just wants the sheer unadultarated joy of beating the piss out of someone.”

Anthony: You know what they say about the weather in Rome – if you don't like it, just wait five minutes and the Assamites will change their mind.

Unknown: The Brujah among them seemed . . . even tempered. That is amusing, to say the least

Actaia: “I think destroying two packs in a month will make us less than popular.”

Aniketos: I have almost forgotten how to live without the constant threat of violence.
Actaia: I will attack you sometime in the next week.
Aniketos: I will appreciate that.

Actaia: I think the fact that within a week of coming to Rome, we slaughtered twelve kindred makes people inclined not to trust us.
Quintus: We never said we wouldn't kill them. In fact, we were quite open about it.

????

Arc 8 quotes

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Arc 10 quotes

Someone: Is this the Filii of Quintus?

Idir (to Bahram): I hope it has convinced you not to seek love in the arms of a woman.

Aniketos: It couldn't possibly hurt me if I tell Darab!

Remius: It seems we will have an opportunity to kill many birds with one large, awkward, and dangerous stone.

Marcus "Wait, Remius is a Legate? Fuck."

Remius: (after Actaia refers to him as Legate): "This is going to be a disaster"
Actaia: "This is going to be a series of disasters."

Idir (to Ariarathes): And then there is Galatea. She is like Quintus, with breasts.

Idir: I hate everything Quintus has ever touched.

Anthony: Aniketos feels like the world he was supposed to live in ended hundreds of years before he was born.

Richard (re Galatea): Everything Quintus touches is poison.
Rob: Well, everything Quintus touches turns to bitch.

Joe: We're going to Syria, right?
Isaac: I don't know, you're the legate.

Remius (on arriving in Syria): I think we've found the other armpit.

Chris: We have the Legate Philosa...
Joe: That sucks so much!

Anthony: How else could you put someone in their own fridge? You get an apartment so easily at Humanity 2

Richard: Have you ever seen a legate kill someone who was actually guilty?

Someone: What I want to know is, who's top and who's bottom?
Richard: Well, Idir has Potence and Bahram has Fortitude. And they both have Celerity.
Aniketos [peeking]: Wow!

Aniketos: But they don't know you travel with an amphibious seeress.

Aniketos: We don't really want three hundred bandits coming upon our camp in the day.

Quintus: You know our story would be all the more believable if we scourge the Ikari afterwards.

Joe: You travel around with vampire hunters, dude.
Rob: I know.

Aniketos: "I dont' really want to destabalize the city." Idir: "Why not?"

Isaac: "That's Marcus's goal, I'd like to be able to pass for all three houses of the River."
Anthony (dubious) " 'Houses'?... caves?"
Isaac: "Shacks."

Unknown: "Ceara should totally get the XP award."

Melita (to Aniketos, trapped in stone): I like your new clothes. It's very fashionable, if you're a mountain.

Anthony: Even when Quintus feels bad, he only feels a little bad.

Abby [to Anthony on Aneketos being trapped in a rock] -- "Aneketos has always wanted to be immortalized in stone..."

Ceara: Whenever I thought of goodness, I thought of Marcus. When somebody said, "That was a good meal," I thought of Marcus.
Remius (who wasn't really there): "Me too."

Melita: Quite a situation you're in, like a pearl in an oyster. Though I don't think I'd like to wear you between my breasts.
Aniketos: You wouldn't?
Melita: No… you're very pretty, but I think you'd be too heavy.

Melita: "Good night Marcus Phideas Apollacrimus"

Aniketos: It takes a great deal of concentration to communicate with one as lost in her wisdom as this one.

Remius: My friends are more expressive than I. Idir?
Idir: I am more expressive than you?!

Athanasius: Melita, do you think this is a wise plan?
Melita: I think if I did say something you would take it the wrong way so I won't say anything, my lips are closed like the grave, of course, things do come out of the grave now and then, like... us.
Actaia: That was a yes.

Ceara [on being courted by a Nosferatu]: Was it really that bad?
Actaia: I am not one that puts much stock in physical beauty.
Aniketos: It was that bad.

Remius: Someone make a note of this: Quintus, I completely agree with you.

Jess: Callia thinks Clara is a soft-headed idiot, Clara thinks Callia is blind to everything but the nose on her face.

Aniketos: I haven't almost killed anyone in my sleep in decades.

Richard: How is it that Remius, Actaia and Idir are trying to protect Ceara's emotions from Aniketos?

Richard: "We've become the Legates that we used to hate!"
Joe: "I know!"

Brutus, a random mortal legionnaire (to Aniketos, about Actaia): "Give us half an hour with your wife and we'll call it even."
Actaia (after an impressive Dominance roll): "I think you're more attracted to your friend with the knife."
Brutus: "…yeah…I've just never been able to admit it before."
Legionnaire with the knife: :goggles in horror: "Have you gone Greek during our march?!"
Brutus (to his "friend"): "Hey, how about you take a half hour with her and then I take a half hour with you?"
Quintus: "Actaia, perhaps you could let them have the first half hour without you..?"

Caius Tiberius Candidus: "Damn this incessant rain! We should have been in Aramosata two days ago."
Jess: "Somewhere, Idir smiles."

Dan[to Anthony]: You are increasingly beloved by Malkavians.

Anthony: She pretty much said "I'm mad, I'm mad as a hatter!" or words to that effect.

Melita [well, Jess]: Lucius didn't steal that piece of bread, if bread can be said to belong to anyone, it's the one who eats it, for it rests in his belly and is shat out his ass, though of course if someone wanted to get it back, they could always go through the sewage and look for it...

Aniketos: Lying is the only weapon I can really use. Well, except for those made of steel, I'm pretty good with those.

Ceara: Does that mean you want to have sex with Idir, or Actaia, or me? Aniketos: Well, I wouldn't mind...[cuts off]

Aniketos: Imagine the trial if we were found - no, there wouldn't even be a trial, imagine the execution.

Chris: Quintus has invented Elder Impersonation.

Aniketos: This is going discomfortingly well.

Ceara: That has the disadvantage of no violence for me. Balachandra: You may not kill me, but you may be violent with me later if you wish. [pause] Sumaiya: Sire?!

Anthony: "That's the only reason why I'd want to have kids: so I could name them something ridiculous."

Jess (on Rob's misadventures at Origins): "He actually looked shockingly like Rob. I was actually going to tell you to go with it because it would be the closest you'd get to clone sex."

Ceara (on manipulating beauty-obsessed Nosferatu): "Ok. I'll go find her and tell her I'll sleep with her." Aniketos: "It may actually be that simple." Jess: "Actaia is thinking 'Why didn't I think of that?'" Dan: "No, she's really not."

Quintus: "I'll inquire with…Sethepus? Sekithus?" Dan: "Snuffelupagus." Jess: "Catesipus!"

Ballachandra (to Ceara on the art of womanly love): "Well, there are three kinds of women: deer women, elephant women and mare women…."

Isaac: "Can you change that from deer, elephant and monkey women to deer, elephant and mare women? I don't want anyone reading this to think I'm an idiot." Abby: "Aw man, I liked the thought of monkey women. 'Ooh, monkey women! What are they like?'" Rob: "Well, they're hairy and they have tails." Dawn: "They like to throw poo."

Balbus (a mortal man): Quintus! Where the hell've you been, man? I've been wanting to congradulate you! Quintus (who has been out of the city for six months): ….On? Balbus: Whaddya mean, 'on!' Heh, I hope it's a son! Quintus: ….Thank you. Actaia and Aniketos: *mockmockmockitymock* Quintus: *frenzies*

Isaac (on Marcus the Magistrate): "Marcus finally gets to go to some place and say 'We have a legal system. I'm the only person within a 3,000 miles with claws. We have a legal system.'"

Anthony (of Actaia): I'm scared of her because she's a megolomaniac who doesn't like to be contradicted and can do agg damage.

Anthony: What do you give the Eastern mystic who has nothing?

Remius (upon being given a house in the first district): "Whee!"

Joe: "It's just occurred to me that the only way out of this relationship is diablerie."

Remius (on Quintus overstepping the bounds of his authority): "This does not change our opinions on you. Nor does it particularly change our opinions on Quintus."

Quintus (after witnessing Salubri ookiness): "And is this…power one that can be levied upon our kind as well?" Ballachandra: "Yes." Remius: "Good to know."

Aniketos: "Although I hear Remius can talk to Aristotle himself, given the appropriate trappings."

Anthony: You can't start Clan Toreador without Setite help.

Jess, loudly, in the middle of session: "Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. WAAA WAAA WAAA WAAA!"

Ceara: "You say things that don't need to be said a lot." Aniketos: "I love the sound of my own voice."

Idir -- "I'd rather deal with someone who was consistently evil, like Quintus, than someone who is inconsistently good, like Marcus"

Remius [to Aniketos]: "I can tell you that you made a good impression on my sister. I know this because she didn't actively try to freak you out." Chris: "She only does that to close friends and family."

Chris: "Catalyn was very angry at Remius when he Dominated her pet Gangrel and told him to stand up. She'd spent months conditioning him the old fashioned way to not go on his hind legs."

Rob: "I like how raising the dead came before searching the body in your list of priorities."

Rob: "That should be a quote on the new game book: 'So easy, Anthony can do it!'" Anthony: "I love you all."

Jess [on Idir beating the ST's]: "Idir just spoke dragon!"

Anthony [on Jess's evil plans]: "She might kill Anthony to get to Aniketos! I don't put it past her at this point!"

Idir: "Either murder him or do not. Do not attempt and fail."

Rob [on story hooks]: "Short answer: yes with a "but;" long answer: no with an "and."'

Idir [on early Christianity]: "I know of no clear leadership among the Jews. There were rumors of a king among them years ago, but nothing came of it."

Remius: "I hold her in high respect and have sworn to protect her as part of the pack. I'm just saying that if any of you kill her before I do, all of the pain and suffering I would have given her will be meted out to you."

Anthony [on downtime]: "I'm sorry, I was busy buggering a farm animal. He's a Senator, you know!" Chris: "Oh, that's funny."

Arc 11

Remius [addressing the pack]: "Excuse me! Friends and enemies?"

Aniketos [greatly annoyed at being "interrupted" by a mob]: "I heard it myself from my baths! And I was busy!"

Quintus [upon seeing that his ex-girlfriend has embraced his ex-wife]: "I should have killed her."

Anthony: "Does anyone else find it amusing that there is a line of Brujah who hate Quintus?" Rob: "And now we know why clan Brujah hates clan Ventrue!"

Quintus [to Aniketos]: "I would like to point out that we may be under attack. I only say this because Ballachandra and Sumaya are missing, and now Ceara and Philosa have disappeared. I would hate for you to be surprised when it becomes obvious later."

Chris: "I shot the Praetorium, but I did not shoot the Vigiles." Rob: "I shot Cthulu, but I did not shoot the Byakee."

Anthony [on being an Inconnu Monitor]: "I need your help. I have no political sway. I haven't accrued a particle in my whooole life. Incidentally, I own China."

Servant: "They've risen up against Rome!" Remius: "Who needs coffee?"

Apolloketos: "I wish no war with the god of the Jews! Take yourselves from my place or be burnt like this metal around me!"

Anastasios: "I prayed to Apollo, and Apollo came! Praise to the gods for you, Aniketos!"

Anthony on Obtenobration: "I'm 51% Remius, 49% lamprey!"

Joe: "I'm with Idir in making all fire under government control." Chris: "What if you get cold?!" Joe: "They'll sell you a coat!"

Rob: "The time of bread and circuses is over! The time of SALAD is now!"

Anthony [to Richard, out of nowhere]:“Hey, GIRL!”

Aniketos [on Quintus’s woman troubles]: “She embraced his dead wife and they are united in a club of hatred for Quintus! It’s not that I laugh at his misfortune…”

Remius [ooc]: “I’m so mad at Filosa right now. Not for being in this much trouble, but that she did it to herself. Now, when I do it to her, it just won’t hurt as much!”

Anthony: “No one really does sacrilege like Aniketos!”

Idir [as Anthony prances by to the bathroom]: “Aniketos has to pee before he arrives.” Ariarathes: “How unusual.”

Ariarathes: “So what possessed you to say you were Apollo, Aniketos?” Aniketos: “A flock of torch-weilding Jews.”

Remius: “I have purchased the price of your friendship. The price of two gold coins.”

Jess: "Which Julia?" Rob: "The one with eyes!"

Ifsana: "I helped myself to a chair. I hope you don't mind." Aniketos: "Not at all. As long as you didn't help yourself to a slave, all is well." Ifsana: "I know better than to meddle with those who are favored by the great god Apollo." Aniketos: "…That makes me so uncomfortable."

Aniketos [upon being asked, yet again, if they can have a social function at his home]: "Of course! Any meeting we DON'T have at my house I take as a personal affront."

Ceara: "I don't want a used one." Aniketos: "I assure you, all the boys leave this house very well educated." Ceara: "You've been having sex with them for years!" Aniketos: "Well, SOMEONE was going to."

Aniketos: "Unfortunately, my contact with the Fili of Apollo is not actually a member of the Fili of Apollo."

Ceara: "We could all go live at Remius's place!" Remius: "Heh heh! No. We can't."

Idir [on Netikerti]: "I will promote her interests to the council. Let her find a lover in other packs."

Aniketos botches a summoning, and every man in the district named "Andreas" comes to his house.

Joe's impression of Grassus: "Hey! One of our guys got slaughtered. We've got all these bodies around. Hey! Your people do things with dead things! Here! Here's a wagonful of bodies!"
Remius: "…"
Anthony: "C'mon, say it!"
Joe: "Fine. [twiddles his hands ominously] Bring me the bodies!"

Idir [upon finding Aniketos lapping up blood off the floor of a murder scene]: "Brother…have you discovered anything?"

Abby: "A well greased boy…Happy birthday, Aniketos!"

Anthony [dancing]: "I'm cheating! I'm cheating!"

Downtime:

Jess – "You guys cannot imagine how much I want to take my clothes off…"

Anthony [describing his character]: "Aniketos comes off as flippant and shallow to those who don't know him. Those who do, know that he is dire and very treacherous. His friends actually do call him 'Apollo.' Particularly those friends who show up out of nowhere and disappear just as quickly."

Actaia [on an outburst of Ceara's]: "I see someone's blood-Marcus level is still a little high."

Ariarathes [kinda OOC, to Lysander the Happy Ghoul]: "Here, this sword, when you stab a vampire with it, will really really hurt them. Except me. It's like any other sword to me. You could stab me all day with it, go ahead! Careful you don't break it on my tough skin!"

Jess: "Hm. I can have sex with her more often if she's in my family!"

Jess [playing with Richard's tiny little mind]: "Yay! I made you give me the look! I love the look!"

Marcus [on Quintus]: "I can take some pleasure in knowing that I raised the man who will kill Silvanus."

Dan [on Actaia's childe Pericles]: "She named him Pericles. It means 'Surrounded by Glory,' which is why Actaia chose it for him."
Shawn: "Of course, because she's glory and he's surrounded by her!"

Anthonyketos [on Janek]: "I am going to work him over a pit filled with wooden spikes."
Abby: "Is this your plan?!"
Anthonyketos: "Yes. That and stand him in front of a balcony of archers."

Actaia [the upwardly mobile, to Aniketos]: "You understand that if you wish to see me you must come to me. This is not my desire, but I cannot come to you. Well, I can but then I would have to make it one of those processions where people are announcing my name on the streets, and that's really not something I can do every week."

Anthony [upon finding out what Idir's been plotting]: "Moo hoo ha ha haaa ha! Richard you are SO cool!"

Anthonyketos [on sweet sweet vengeance]: "Somebody's getting EATEN tonight!"

Remius [gesturing to a skull on the wall]: "Ballachandra, let me introduce you to Antius."

Isaac: "Is this guy still alive?"
Jess: "You've got his SKULL!"

Ceara: "You're creepy and no one likes you!"

Actaia: "Are they Christians or Jews? There's apparently a difference.
Remius: "The Christians are the cannibals, right?"

Jess [describing an orgy]: "And you can have sex with any number and configuration of people."
Anthony: "I do not allow myself to be penetrated."
Jess: "Make a roll to avoid getting fucked up the ass."
Anthony: "One success."
Jess: "And that's one fuck up the ass for you."
Anthony: "I'm going to roll to see if I like it. … I do!"

Anthony: "Wait, is she riding Marcus?"

Remius: "Now I have to worry about why this 15 year old is depressed. And I have to care."

Dan: "Actaia is going to write a letter to Juli every month which he can have read aloud to him while in the baths, but he is going to read them first so that he has witty responses prepared in advance."
Anthony: "That is perhaps the most vampire thing that has happened all game!"

Arc 12

Ceara: "Are you sure he died? 'Cause I can think of seven ways to fake my death and some of them don't even hurt."

Levi [a fanatic]: "Bar Kothba? He's a leader who can do anything! Like, fly!"
Jess: "And eat beef!"

Dan: "He just wants to put his hands on your ass."
Jess: "Really, I-I can't do this with your hands in my pockets!"

Neonate Packmember 1: "Will you walk with me, Martialus?"
Neonate Packmember 2: "I know everything that you're going to say, so don't bother."
Neonate Packmember 1: "Then perhaps you can talk to me."
Neonate Packmember 2: "Frankly, your sister is more attractive. Unless you are suggesting that I'm a Greek. I hope you're not suggesting that I'm a Greek."
Dan: "Did we bicker like this?"
Everyone: "YES!"

Actaia: "I'm sorry, I must go."
Ceara: "I told you she was unreliable."
Actaia: "I heard that!"

Ceara: "Why do they always pronounce your name wrong?"
Ballachandra: "Because Roman tongues are clumsy."
Ceara: "I don't have a clumsy tongue!"
Ballachandra: "Are you Roman?"

Ballachandra: "So it is desireable to the Pack that the Houses become aware of these things, but it is undesireable to the Pack that we tell them these things."
Quintus: "Yes."

Marcus [embracing]: "Look at that constellation there."
Sempi: *looks up*
Marcus: *SLASH*

Remius: "This session was like getting beaten with the plot sticks."

Richard [on Ballachandra's childe]: "She's kinda butch. I like it. She's got guns on 'er."

Joe [waxing nostalgic]: "I laughed too, when Shawn was holding the CD. But then Rob put it in and the Sierra music started playing…"
Chris: "I never played King's Quest."
Joe: "Then you're not as good of a person."

Chris: "Well, you know the Foreskin of Jesus can't be a real artifact because the act of removing the foreskin rather than just making an incision started after Jesus's death. It was instituted by Bar Kothba."

Joe [grinning]: "Ohhh, so much nookie!"

Anthony [on his temporary character]: "If this character dies…please. I put like three hours total work into him. I've had goldfish die that I was more attached to."

Actaia: "It is the great fortune of my clan that many of us don't know what fear is. We're too crazy."

Gaius: "I come from D___"
Quintus: "…What manner of language is that?"
Gaius: "Allerian"
Quintus: "A strange tongue."
Gaius: "Fewer words. Longer words, but fewer."

Quintus [to Remius]: "Ah yes. Nikka. She's intelligent, spiteful, competent and deeply petty. I think you'd like her."

Remius: "Well, watching Osseus hold court is not as riveting as I would have expected. I will go speak with Nikka."
Quintus: "Please, give her my best."
Actaia: "I seem recall you giving her your best on a number of occasions."

Gaius: "I would not trade the last thirty years of my life for anything. I had a wife and six children."
Actaia: "I remember being beaten by my parents every night. I don't think I would have liked thirty more years of that."
Gaius: "Probably not. You probably wouldn't have lived that long."

Quintus: "I'm quite proud of whom I've handed my strings to. I've also spent most of my time untethered. I'm proud of that as well."
Actaia: "He has some delusions."

Chris [on Anthony's accent]: "Moose and Squirrel references will get you agg damage."

Mark [to Chris]: "That seems like Jess's room. Do you sleep in here?"
Chris: "I sleep in there."
Jess: "We have sex!"

A snippet of Anthony's experience in Cali: "Hey, why is that guy sitting in a trough? Maybe I'll go pee next to him."

Anteus the Wall Ornament: "I want to see the sun…will you take me outside and let me see the sun?"
Remius: "Hahahaha! You will see the sun after I do!"

Anthony [on his Tzimisce, to Rob]: "If you had told him that, he probably would have tented his toga to hear that you were that specific on letting people into your home."
Chris: "Can you write down 'tented his toga'?"

Rob: "I am the ghost of Christmas Past...from the Future!"

Richidir [contemplating diablerie]: "Would you say I'm a horrible person?"
Remjoeius: "No! You're quirky! You're eccentric!"

Remius: "I enjoy his company as much as the next man, but tonight the next man is Actaia so I'm glad he is gone."

Idir: "Tonight I have frenzied, called a Blood Hunt on a friend of mine, and then warned him of it."

Ceara: "It's ok, I don't spy on you anymore now that we're friends. Except for that one time..."
Remius: "...I'll come back to that later. So how do I keep people like you out of my house?"

Beggar: "I wouldn't lie to you! His name is Carax! I swear on my mother's grave!"
Idir: "Tell us something more about him."
Remius: "And please. Swear on someone's grave again."

Anthony: "So, in the future, when asking the question 'How do I go about throwing a horse?' the answer is 'Play a Lasombra."

Numerius Velius Africanus: "Get out of here! You are nothing, you so-called family member!"
Anthony: "He is SO stabbed by the end of that sentence!"

Sarah [a little Jewish girl]: "Thank you for saving me from that evil monster."
Gaius [as he ushers her into Remius's House]: "You are velcome. Fear not. You are safe now."

Anthony: "That's the side effect of being seven feet tall: you don't care what people think."

Gaius [on his way to usurp his house]: "Well, we are gratiutously overpowered. Let us go! I only have one horse..."

Ceara: "This is a nice necklace. Can I have this?"
Gaius: "Is this what you would wish for your help this night?"
Ceara: "Yeah!"
Idir: "Ceara, wait, you deserve much more for your services in overthrowing a house."
Gaius: "Really? It seemed so easy."

Gaius [to Ceara]: "Your friendship is treasure to me. You are welcome in my home anytime. Provided you tell me you are there. And take off your shoes."

Netikerti: "I wouldn't want to be the one to break the news to Mew Sher."
Remius: "I don't want anyone to be the one to break the news to Mew Sher because I'm the one who broke the news to Mew Sher LAST TIME."

Dan: "Actaia has linked her two apartments with a spiral staircase, which she descends in a flowing robe when guests arrive."
Jess: "Thank you, Joan Crawford."

Anthony: "I looked down and was like 'Oh ma gawd, it's right next to his spoodge!'"

Anthony: "Just because I'm crazy and reckless doesn't mean I'm not boring."

Remius [to Idir]: "You're a devious mind, aren't you? Very capable."

Isaac: "Can you snort through telepathy?"

Marcus: "Actaia, you know I have always been the embodiment of discretion."

Anthony: "I so want to say at the end of this game: 'My friends, this is Atilla.'"

Filosa: "You know this isn't how it ends, Remius." Remius: "No, Filosa. This is only the beginning."

Remius: "Why do you think we can't write about [what we do]?"
Strappo: "Remius. We spill our blood to call up the shades of the screaming dead. You want me to write a fucking essay?"

Richard: "In the very first session of Gloria Mundi, there was someone who chased me out of Carthage. That person is no more."

Dan: "I ordered out for Diablerie."

Quintus: "I already have my hands in a number of Senators."

Richidir: "She needs to be socialized, she needs group therapy: 'Callia, what have you brought to show and tell today?' 'A severed head!'"

Isanna: "Oh yes, the Lady is kind, the Lady is good, the Lady is gentle. She is so gentle when she rips your mind screaming from your head and runs your body through the streets of Rome, destroying all that you have built yourself and your family toward for the past 400 years and I am so very very sad that I am not part of her family myself."

Aniketos [on Quintus]: "I feel like he's looking at my ass, even when I'm facing him."

Aniketos: "Idir and I have a relationship less encumbered by madness."

Aniketos: "And what of this new house of Haravas? It seems to me that the only people who are not in it are the old house of Haravas."

Idir: "You should at least figure out what it is you are deciding not to do."

Aniketos: "It was easier when my vision was clouded and thus my decisions, clear."

Rob [on Marcus's return to Rome]: "I can't think of any reason why this is good."

Quintus: "This is going to be a political gain. I don't know if you've ever run for office before, but this is how it has to be done, because I am going to have to create candidates to run against you."

Roquintus: "That's how it's going to end if you screw this up: off the rock!"
Misaacus: "I hope that's how they try to kill me, because I feel like I could last for days."
[History lesson: traitors to the Roman state were executed by throwing them off of the Tarpin Rock, which is big and tall.]

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